Bless me Father for I have sinned. I’m afraid it’s been years since my last confession. My sin is against my own kind - the red blooded male. I had to do the housework the other day...and I actually enjoyed it.
As a cost cutting exercise I’ve reluctantly decided to P45 our cleaning lady. Friday was to be my first day on the job and like most first days, I was a bit anxious. I don’t really enjoy cleaning, least of all pushing the vacuum cleaner round. In fact I’m rather ashamed to admit, that I would be embarrassed if anyone I knew walked by my house and saw me pushing the vacuum around. It’s just not something a man likes to be seen doing.
Before I got started I decided to bolster my spirit with some good old fashioned male bastions; loud music and a roaring log fire. At first I did a bit of tidying, kids toys etc. but as time went on I could put it off no longer, the big moment arrived; it was time me and Mr Dyson got to know each other a bit better.
Like all those jobs you put off for ages, once you crack the seal, it isn’t that bad. The Dyson has a clear plastic tube to show you when it needs emptying. This is perfect for blokes. If a bloke is doing a job, he likes to know he’s doing it well (little tip for you girls!).
Seeing all the stuff being sucked up into the cleaner was very satisfying and it spurred me on. Soon enough I started to really put my back into it; in fact I was working up a bit of a sweat. Half an hour later and I was stripped to the waist. By this time the Ipod had shuffled onto ‘The Best of Elton John’ and the noise of the vacuum cleaner meant I had to crank the volume right up, just to hear it.
When you play really loud music, you feel compelled to sing along with it....don’t you? So let’s just picture the scene; I’m belting out Elton John songs, with my shirt off and pushing a vacuum cleaner round my house; all I needed was a Red Indian head-dress and a handle bar moustache and I’d have made it on to a Village People video.
The reality was that I was having a great time. I got to play some music really loud, sing along with it and use a piece of kit that was really efficient. What’s not to like. Cleaning the house was just a by-product. Next week I’m planning on tackling the ironing with maybe a bit of Barry Manilow...